Pewpew

i've really so much on my mind. first there's school. projects and i got to keep up with all the teachers, maths is alright, engineering also alright. business is very interesting. only thing is writing and oral is really so annoying. ah well. plus i've got to settle this NS thingy. ughhhh. school has been fun this week. i really like my class cus they're so funny. although! there was a great misunderstanding today! ughhh no way man. no chance already if that's the case... unless i didn't come off as a stalker LOL. anyways.. i've decided to be a happy person and thus everyone else shall feed off my happiness and be happy themselves. just got to figure out HOW to... haha.

anyways, cya around babes!!!

CIAO

screws

-why can't you let your guard down once in a little while? is it really that hard to admit your mistakes? to show that you were wrong. or to show that not everything in this world you're capable of accomplishing. it's okay, it's okay to show fear and sadness. it's human to do so. you don't have to be cool all the time. we'd still respect you just as much.

-why can't you just understand? you don't have to be so egoistical. and if you did want to have a big ego shouldn't you have a basis for doing so? what's the purpose of you saying those things? is it to hide you imperfections? your instability? don't you know that empty vessles make the most noise. come back down to earth. it's good to have dreams. but be realistic.. so you think you're 'all that'? but you're not much.

-is it really that difficult? i guess it is isn't? something this world hid. so that only those very few could find it. because if everyone saw it. they'd want it. i've found it.that which brings happiness. but you just don't know i've found it. if only there was a way. if only you'd see.

-should i really be chasing after this dream which roots date back long ago, since the beginning of our friendship? is it really okay? to be chasing something i can't see, or can i see it? if you gave me the chance to start over, i'd take it. i'd make sure everything went right. but then again nothing ever does, does it.

-in the end. what i really don't understand is myself.

school starts tomorrow. whee!(?)

ciao babes!!!

12.51

i guess the only way to move forward is to make the next step. and that next step is acceptance. oh well. got to accept the fact that maybe architecture isn't what's for me. maybe it isn't for me now but for later. or maybe not at all. i don't know. guess i'll have to do my best in TP. anyways. i should be thankful enough that i got into a supposedly good polytechnic right? yeap i should! dayum, wonder how i'd do. mmhmm. hopefully i make friends there hahaha. anyways, really happy, i finally have a laptop! wheee. just gotta figure out how to record my guitar straight into the laptop. so yeah. enjoy the rest of the week dudes.

ciao babes!!!

-

fail. people like me, don't deserve to live. we'll just hinder everyone else. failures in life. everything i ever wanted i never get. whats been keeping me going the last two years. the dream of being able to study architecture. vanished. gone. what am i going to do. how do i move forward when my goal has been taken away from me.how am i going to study and do well in something i have no utter interest at all. its difficult haiz.